Matters of the heart! urgh.

So following my consultation with Zaheer, the video mentor, he recommended I follow my character to his home to see how he lives and get a scene of him in a different setting. This was initially met by resistance from Luc, my main character, and his reasons were not lucid enough but nonetheless I understood the possible sensitivity in that. However after another consultation with Zaheer and an inability to think of a different scene that would represent his life authentically, I had to give it one more ask… because a No! really isn’t that worst that could happen.

I called Luc and his response was a lot more positive this time around although it had a condition that annoyed me and threw me off. Luc told me over the phone he’d been thinking about me for a while now and he thinks he might be in love with me. I tried to act stupid like “what does that even mean?” but the man was adamant with his declaration of love and he said “if you come to my place, than you have to be my wife!” uuuhhhh creepy much? men are so annoying. Now at that moment, I found it hard to remember him as this man with a harrowing compelling story about his fall and fall (because no rises yet). I am not a pretentious person at all, I wear my emotions and intentions on my sleeve. So my annoyance was obvious.

I didn’t know whether to play along because this is the last week of shooting and I need him to just participate one more time so I can wrap up my footage, or just be straight up vocal and possibly alienate him while I really kind of need him to complete this. I decided on neither, I decided avoidance would be my best bet. I had to shoot him today and I couldn’t hide my discomfort. He’s looking at me differently. His is a good person but the dynamics of this partnership that have changed for him annoy me and I have no patience. I suppose shooting him at his home will most certainly have to be a team effort cause my instincts are no longer settled around him. And they say trust your instincts- cliches are true.

I suppose someone saying they feel a certain way about you isn’t the problem, it’s that he’s a person from which I didn’t expect that compromise because he is so smart and wise and gathered and has been really helpful and above board. He is almost paternal in a way you would respect your elders and uncles, so that dynamic is all kinds of creep suddenly. You know? okay either way… I can’t wait to be done with this here in-depth.


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